“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn

You get clean and you’re excited about being in recovery. You feel motivated and things are going well. But life is life, and like the ocean, it often produces some pretty big waves. Those waves can easily throw you off course.

When we ask people what is their biggest challenge in recovery, they often say: “staying on track or staying committed to the program”.

A few years after I became abstinent I had a big crisis in my life. I remember thinking to myself: “this is too much for me to handle the crisis and the food too.” Even my sponsor felt sorry for me and got caught up in my story. One day in a meeting I heard somebody sharing about a big loss they had in life and how they chose recovery NO MATTER WHAT. Those words – recovery first, no matter what – changed my perspective. I changed sponsors, and my new sponsor encouraged me to see how the situation could be worse if in addition to the crisis I was also into the food. I’m abstinent since 2005. Though there have been many times when life offered “waves” and challenges, I’ve learned to remember my priorities and to take action in times of need to help me continue to recover from my fatal disease.

When life takes over, you can’t control it, but you CAN still control your reaction.

Here are 5 ways to stay on track when life takes over:

1. Don’t wait for a crisis – pray and meditate every day.

I pray and meditate every day. When life is running on an even keel, I start my day with 15 minutes of prayer and meditation. When something out of the ordinary is going on, I might change the length of my meditation, but I always do it, even for 5 minutes. Prayer has become part of my life in such a way that I can’t live without it. If you don’t have a daily routine of prayer and meditation, start now. Prayer and meditation keep you present in the moment. A regular practice helps you deal better with life.

2. Be realistic and anticipate.

It will be unrealistic to think that there are going to be no bumps in the road. Of course there will! That’s life. Accepting the obstacles will help you have a positive attitude when stuff happens. After all, you’re human and life is life.

3. Be aware of your thinking and change it.

Let’s say that a family member is sick, or your boss asks you to work overtime. Your initial thoughts might be negative (fear, frustration, anger). Feelings follow thoughts. Pause and identify the thought that led to the feeling. Challenge the thought and change it. Think how you can turn the challenge into an opportunity. Remember that it is in your hands to choose your reaction.

4. Look for the lessons and learn from them.

Learn from experience. When you get off track, ask yourself what triggered the setback and look for the lesson. For example, one of my sponsees realized that she picks up addictive food every time she has guests because the preparations cause stress. She started to ask her family members to help her prepare, and she changed her thinking from “It needs to be perfect” to “good enough is good enough.” She learned from her experience and made necessary changes.

5. Collect more positive and less negative evidence of success.

It is much easier to look at what you haven’t done or what you could have done better than to see your progress and accomplishments. Remember that recovery is about progress rather than perfection. Make a decision to stop collecting evidence that shows that you can do better. When taking your daily inventory, pay attention to and recognize your progress and success and discuss it with your sponsor rather than just paying attention to your faults and challenges.
Life will throw us waves, challenges, and curveballs. With practice, we can learn to ride them out and hit them out of the park. Take a minute and evaluate your level of commitment to recovery right now. Adopt these principles to help you stay on track.

We pray, read, write, plan, shop, cook, report, share, meditate, and commit. We take actions to make our recovery strong every day. Let’s remember to lighten up and not take life so seriously!

There are many ways to connect to your creative self and let it shine.
Slogans help us remember what we choose to focus on. Changing our thoughts and retraining our brain is easier when we are constantly reminded of what’s important for us.

When I was new to recovery, I heard this slogan: “Recovery First, No Matter What”. I completely fell in love with this phrase. It was exactly what I needed to hear every day, many times throughout the day. I made it the password on my computer and I typed and wrote it wherever I could. One of my recovery friends chose “A life time of abstinent recovery” as her email address.

Make a list of your favorite slogans. Add slogans to this list when you come across new ones. Keep the list in your bathroom (yes, you heard me correctly! Your bathroom) and get a set of colorful dry erase markers. Assuming that you have a mirror in your bathroom (otherwise, any mirror you frequently look into will work) write your top 3 slogans for the week on the mirror. Have fun with the colors and decorate it. (We only need a small space on our mirrors to see ourselves. The rest can be saved for things that are important for you to remember.) Every day, read the slogans out loud (hearing them spoken is effective) and make them your own. If you share the mirror with other people, no worries. They won’t mind some color, decorations, and inspiring words even if they don’t speak to them.

Here are some slogans for you to choose from:

Recovery first, no matter what

One day at a time

I let go, I let God

It works if you work it

Progress over perfection

Abstinence first, one day at a time

Just for today I choose abstinence

Half measures avail us nothing

Nothing tastes as good as abstinence

Today is all we have

Easy does it

The body knows

Please inspire others by sharing your own personal or favorite slogans. Write them down in the comments area. Thank you for your service. And have some fun!

When we are in the disease, we use food to escape from life. When we stop binging on food, we may substitute food with binging on work or general busy-ness, which is a vicious cycle that can lead us directly out of recovery.

Addiction to “hyperness” and adrenaline is part of our addiction and it is causing us, just like food did, to escape from life. The consequences are exhaustion, resentment, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction. And the risk in overdoing is that it could take us back into the food for relief. Thus, the vicious cycle.

A few weeks ago I allowed my time to manage me instead of me managing my time.  I gave myself permission to work later, I didn’t keep my boundaries of breaks and rest time, and I didn’t “weigh and measure” my tasks in a way that was supportive to my recovery. Thank God that the food is not an option for me anymore, but I definitely felt the consequences mentioned above: I was tired and feeling resentful, which led me to make amends. Making the amends was a red flag for me. It told me that something was off, and I took the time to pray, evaluate, and correct.  I took actions to bounce back to balance.

3 ways to Undo Overdoing: 

1. ACCEPT that you’re off.

You must see the connection between overdoing and addiction. It is not something that is just happening to you. It is your escape mechanism and it is part of your disease. Awareness is always the first step!

2. CREATE a daily mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness is being present, experiencing the moment with no judgment. By building a daily mindfulness practice, you consciously choose to balance the DOING with BEING. I start my morning with prayer, meditation, and self-Reiki. I also read and plan my day. By making the time to start my day centered, it is easier for me to remember to pause and appreciate “God Moments” throughout my day.

3. ORGANIZE your time to support recovery.

I love my work and I’m passionate about helping people. That’s why it’s hard to stop. There are some things I choose to do to make sure that I set boundaries and don’t put my recovery at risk: Scheduling rest and recovery activities into my calendar, committing to a “hard stop” time.  This to me means I finish work every night at 7 and stop!  When I teach on weekends, I have to plan a free day during the week. Preplanning my grocery shopping, cooking, including batch cooking, is also important to manage time effectively.

Organizing your time requires taking an honest look at your tasks and your priorities. Get rid of projects that are less important and integrate recovery related activities into your calendar.

By taking these actions, evaluating and correcting, your life immediately feels less busy. When we undo the overdoing, we are also taking care of our health, making recovery first, no matter what. And that is our ultimate goal, right?

1. Read Labels. We definitely have to know what we are putting in our mouths. Read the list of ingredients every time you buy. We always follow the caution: “When in doubt, leave it out.” If any of the ingredients are complicated or unrecognizable don’t use the product. The best idea is to keep it simple. We recognize real food ingredients when we see them. Stick with those.
2. Weigh and Measure. This is how we put a boundary on the amount we eat. Take that scale to restaurants too. “Eyeballing” is inaccurate. The food plan is our prescription for abstinence; we want to be accurate and honest and our cups and scales ensure that accuracy. Food plan, no more, no less.
3. Schedule Meals: This is critically important. If we go too long between meals, we experience irritation, hunger, and agitation from lowered blood glucose levels. There is real risk of relapse in these situations. Eat every 4-1/2 to 5 hours to maintain a level metabolism.
4. Variety. Eat a variety of different foods. Getting stuck on one particular food may indicate that it is triggering addiction. Also any food eaten too frequently may cause allergies. It is for this reason that we limit the use of eggs. It is tempting to eat them frequently for breakfast. Because they are allergenic in nature, we limit exposure to them.
5. Restaurant Orders. Give clear directions when ordering in a restaurant. Seafood is a fairly safe choice when ordered carefully. This is how to order: Salmon, no added fat, marinade or seasoning, plain baked potato, large salad with oil and vinegar, no balsamic vinegar please. Keep questions to a minimum, they are confusing. I avoid chicken in most restaurants because it is injected with things we don’t want to eat. Be careful of marinades. One of the popular Chinese Restaurants marinade all their proteins. Most restaurants fry food in butter, therefore we order with “no added fat”. Seasonings are suspect, don’t use theirs, take your own in your restaurant bag. I carry Penzy’s Northwoods. Balsamic vinegar contains a lot of sugar. We certainly want to abstain from that! Don’t drink carbonated beverages served at bars through a hose. Those hoses deliver sugary drinks too.
6. Accountability. Report your food plan to an experienced sponsor or accountability partner. Be ready for some corrections or feedback if you are new. Some of the things to watch out for if you are helping a newer person: is the cottage cheese clean; the dairy non fat; the protein low fat (I really don’t encourage chicken thighs); what kind of oats; is there a variety of food or the same thing day after day?
7. Attend Meetings. “Meeting makers, make it!” Getting together with others in recovery provides the support we need to stay abstinent, one day at a time.